I'd had a sense that it was going to snow when I prepared for slumber the other night. I rarely listen to the news and have taken most weather apps off of my phone. If I hear of a forecast, it is because someone else has mentioned it. I'd turned on my electric fireplace and snuggled down in the covers feeling like I was ready for a soft, beautiful snow to blanket my dreams. 2013 has been rough, to say the least. I'm ready for a fresh start. I have a feeling I'm not alone. The next day it didn't snow, nor did it yesterday, in fact the weather was warm and lovely.  I woke up this morning to a gorgeous snowfall and I've been mesmerized by it for hours. Just sitting here watching the snow come down and whiten the ground. Sometimes what we sense is there, it just takes a bit of time for it to manifest. And patience seems to be my strongest lesson lately. Patience. 

Normally this time of year I start thinking about all that's happened and the goals I have for the coming one. Not this time. Nope. Jumping on a different mode of transportation this year. I'm not taking a jet, or a train or even car. I fully intend to use my body as the vehicle it was intended to be. I believe our feelings/emotions and intuition are our inner GPS. They let us know if we are on the right track. If the choices we make are in alignment with our soul, then it feels right. And let me tell you, what feels right and good can make HUGE waves in one's reality because sometimes they don't make sense to the mind. Choices, for me, are a delicate balance of mind, intuition and heart-centered guidance with a dash of the "unknown" and a bit of a gamble, which I'm not much of a betting person. Perhaps it is because I believe that every moment counts and that the choices we make directly effect others, no matter if we see it or not. We feel it. We feel everything and some of us, feel, hear and see more deeply than others. This isn't a negative, it's just how we are wired. And knowing how I am wired is where my focus has been this past year. 

I would say that at 41, I know myself pretty well, but there are some unknowns that even now, I'm still discovering. I do know of my talents. I know that I am determined and stubborn (I'm sure I can provide a list of references who will vouch for that!) I know how to make things happen. I don't quit. I am relentless. I work instead of playing. I focus and drive and succeed. It's gotten me to a good place in my life but it won't get much further. I've hit the wall with this realization. I am ready to change directions entirely. I have to, the methods I've used for years are........obsolete. Here's what I've come up with; instead of adding more to my to-do list for the coming year, I'm taking it all away.

Here's what I won't be doing:

worrying, forcing anything, fixing anyone or anything, making others happy and comfortable, (never was my job and it seems I've failed epically :) sugar coating shit (in all forms), making things worse, focusing on the negative, getting too attached the positive, allowing myself to be used, played, manipulated, controlled and any words that start with un, dis, or non. Here's my personal emancipation proclamation to the Universe...I'm letting it all go...........all of it. What remains is what I'll work with. And if there's nothing, then there's freedom in that too.

I now understand why I was on a mission to releasing a significant amounts of clutter, in all forms. I've energetically, emotionally, mentally and physically made space or the new. I've made space, I haven't yet filled it. That's what I'll be doing with great care in 2014.

Gone are any preconceived ideas of how things should go, ought to go, need to go, will go. I've identified my values and core desired feelings and these will be the Spiritual GPS tools that I'll use for navigation. I make no promises or vows to do anything. I am not trying to outguess or even direct my future. Applying too much hope distracts me from what is already richly showing up in the present moment.

There's exquisite beauty in letting go, though it does go against what some of us were taught in the "work hard for your dreams department". It truly counterbalanced by natural instinct to fight for what I believe in and not give up. Letting go is..........different. I find that it isn't about winning or loosing. It is not about controlling a desired outcome; its a release not a resignation. It's acceptance and vulnerability that opens and reconnects us with the core of our truth, the truth of who we are, why we are here and how we can create a life that is authentic and meaningful. 

I have no idea what the coming year will be like. All I know is where I've been and where I am now. So this is me, starting over. Brand new. Un-doing, not doing, letting go of resolutions of any kinds. You are welcome to join me, I'd appreciate the company and companionship. And in letting go of what we don't need, perhaps we will gain, that which our souls seek.