How Hard Are You Working?

What kind of permission do you need to be who you are? Are you seeking attention, recognition, connection from others? How hard do you work to get what you need every day? What is your energy level like?

Many people are programmed to believe that hard work is the way to achieve goals. To get ahead in life you'd better be prepared to work you a*$ off. Is that your belief? Is there a desperation or hopelessness that exists because you feel stuck in some way? What if you could just let all that go. Too easy, right?

My friends, it's only as easy or hard as you choose to make it. Truth. We have a great gift in that we have choice. Choice is one of the most simple tools, that is available to us in every second, moment, hour, day, week, month, year. What do you choose? And here's the really cool thing, you can make a different choice at any time! If something isn't working for you, release the tendency to push or force, instead, ask what other possibilities exist that maybe your sweet little self hasn't thought of...yet. Instead of banging your head against a wall, and wondering why the wall doesn't crumble in, chose to do, be, have or experience something else. Does that sound utterly ridiculous or simplistic? It is: it is ridiculous because we aren't doing this more and it is simple. Why would have it be hard?!

Look at what is working for you. It probably feels "light" and right. (Ask you body, it has information for you as well). Look at what isn't working. This will most likely feel heavy, dense, stagnant and stuck. What choice could you make today that would allow the possibility of something different to show up? And here's the really cool part, you don't have to do much past that. Just be the space for that choice to come through. Sit back, watch, maybe have a cup of tea (or your choice of beverage, and watch what happens.

I've always thought I had to come up with the answers. SO NOT TRUE. I don't have to come up with any answers, my job is to simply ask the right questions and then, get the hell out of the way (taking my brain, limitations and judgements with me!) I've had several experiences this week where I thought something was going to happen and then it didn't Instead of being disappointed (which shuts off all possibilities) I asked to see this situation as one of possibility and potential. Knowing full well that I am not in control of situations or circumstances or even other people's choices, events, and schedules helped me remember that and in any moment, I can choose to STOP fighting my head, ask "What different choice is available that I don't even know about? What am I not seeing in this situation, that I could choose to see, that would bring about an entirely different experience through?" An answer didn't appear, but here's the deal, it didn't have to. I knew it would arrive when my attention caught up with my awareness. So I went to bed.

I awakened this morning to a myriad of choices and gratitude for not keeping myself in limitation. As I was making coffee, several possibilities "popped in". It made me grateful that I remembered that I have the option to ask a question, in any situation. I previously would have felt stuck and constricted, which completely limited my choices and options. I realize now that the "stuck feeling" is a byproduct of my brain working to either figure out a solution or fighting against what "is" or feeling constricted by outside, unexpected changes and circumstances; all of which just make WORK, a lot more work for me that what is necessary and required. I could reel, spin, twist, churn, box, scream, cry, fight, or chose something else, which would relieve me from having to figure it out and that would be easy. That, my friends, is the choice I made. I released any pressure, expectations, judgements and/or limitations and just let the answer find me. How easy and freeing is that?!

I've worked so hard in the past to come up with solutions and fix things. And that was virtually impossible because I was limiting other options by relying on former reference points! There's something very liberating when we can let go of our control and self-imposed limitations and not have to come up with an immediate answer. In fact, I'm finding that it's really not a talent of mine because much of what I "think" is often misaligned. By asking  questions, being "space" for the possibilities to formulate and by-passing the need to figure things out, expansion happens effortlessly and so does relaxation.

Today isn't at all what I expected it to be, it's even better. Living life from "here" means that I don't have to know what is going on, what's going to happen, how it's going to happen, when it might happen, who it might happen with, where we'll be.......  I can just enjoy the moment, fully and completely. All of my focus, attention and awareness is showered upon the present moment and the beautiful people that choose to show up in it. I really dig not having to work so hard!

I'd had a sense that it was going to snow when I prepared for slumber the other night. I rarely listen to the news and have taken most weather apps off of my phone. If I hear of a forecast, it is because someone else has mentioned it. I'd turned on my electric fireplace and snuggled down in the covers feeling like I was ready for a soft, beautiful snow to blanket my dreams. 2013 has been rough, to say the least. I'm ready for a fresh start. I have a feeling I'm not alone. The next day it didn't snow, nor did it yesterday, in fact the weather was warm and lovely.  I woke up this morning to a gorgeous snowfall and I've been mesmerized by it for hours. Just sitting here watching the snow come down and whiten the ground. Sometimes what we sense is there, it just takes a bit of time for it to manifest. And patience seems to be my strongest lesson lately. Patience. 

Normally this time of year I start thinking about all that's happened and the goals I have for the coming one. Not this time. Nope. Jumping on a different mode of transportation this year. I'm not taking a jet, or a train or even car. I fully intend to use my body as the vehicle it was intended to be. I believe our feelings/emotions and intuition are our inner GPS. They let us know if we are on the right track. If the choices we make are in alignment with our soul, then it feels right. And let me tell you, what feels right and good can make HUGE waves in one's reality because sometimes they don't make sense to the mind. Choices, for me, are a delicate balance of mind, intuition and heart-centered guidance with a dash of the "unknown" and a bit of a gamble, which I'm not much of a betting person. Perhaps it is because I believe that every moment counts and that the choices we make directly effect others, no matter if we see it or not. We feel it. We feel everything and some of us, feel, hear and see more deeply than others. This isn't a negative, it's just how we are wired. And knowing how I am wired is where my focus has been this past year. 

I would say that at 41, I know myself pretty well, but there are some unknowns that even now, I'm still discovering. I do know of my talents. I know that I am determined and stubborn (I'm sure I can provide a list of references who will vouch for that!) I know how to make things happen. I don't quit. I am relentless. I work instead of playing. I focus and drive and succeed. It's gotten me to a good place in my life but it won't get much further. I've hit the wall with this realization. I am ready to change directions entirely. I have to, the methods I've used for years are........obsolete. Here's what I've come up with; instead of adding more to my to-do list for the coming year, I'm taking it all away.

Here's what I won't be doing:

worrying, forcing anything, fixing anyone or anything, making others happy and comfortable, (never was my job and it seems I've failed epically :) sugar coating shit (in all forms), making things worse, focusing on the negative, getting too attached the positive, allowing myself to be used, played, manipulated, controlled and any words that start with un, dis, or non. Here's my personal emancipation proclamation to the Universe...I'm letting it all go...........all of it. What remains is what I'll work with. And if there's nothing, then there's freedom in that too.

I now understand why I was on a mission to releasing a significant amounts of clutter, in all forms. I've energetically, emotionally, mentally and physically made space or the new. I've made space, I haven't yet filled it. That's what I'll be doing with great care in 2014.

Gone are any preconceived ideas of how things should go, ought to go, need to go, will go. I've identified my values and core desired feelings and these will be the Spiritual GPS tools that I'll use for navigation. I make no promises or vows to do anything. I am not trying to outguess or even direct my future. Applying too much hope distracts me from what is already richly showing up in the present moment.

There's exquisite beauty in letting go, though it does go against what some of us were taught in the "work hard for your dreams department". It truly counterbalanced by natural instinct to fight for what I believe in and not give up. Letting go is..........different. I find that it isn't about winning or loosing. It is not about controlling a desired outcome; its a release not a resignation. It's acceptance and vulnerability that opens and reconnects us with the core of our truth, the truth of who we are, why we are here and how we can create a life that is authentic and meaningful. 

I have no idea what the coming year will be like. All I know is where I've been and where I am now. So this is me, starting over. Brand new. Un-doing, not doing, letting go of resolutions of any kinds. You are welcome to join me, I'd appreciate the company and companionship. And in letting go of what we don't need, perhaps we will gain, that which our souls seek. 

Swoot Tip #2~Gifting

I'd mentioned in an earlier post that this holiday would be significantly different from those in the past. The look, feel/texture, energy, elements, people, surroundings/environment, and gifts would reflect the different vibrations of where I'm at right now.

One of those aspects involves gifting. I didn't go all out this year, in fact of the few gifts I am giving, all reflected my values of less, simplicity, authenticity, and consumable. I bypassed packaging and used what I had on hand, paper sacks decorated with leftover ribbon. 

A few of our friends received these air plants. Pryce and I ordered them in October and she's been caring for them each week. They are named after characters in the Magic Tree House Book Series; Jack, Annie, Morgan Le Fey.......and the little one is named Peanut. He's not a character but he's so cute and tiny the name just fit!

All they require is a little soak time in pure water. No soil, no fertilizer and they can reside just about anywhere. We found little tea cups make adorable containers, as do inexpensive glass jars. We added decorative rocks and then popped in this piece of blue tinsel that feel off of my tree. We bypassed the $20 dollar terrariums and created our own versions.

What I most enjoyed was time spend with my daughter as we tended the "gifts". She was a little sad to see them go though her excitement was tangible when she gave her teacher "Jack" and shared his care instructions. (We'd also crafted gift tags with candy cane stripped washi tape and silver marker.) 

Other gifts this year included consumables, like steaks (our local grocer makes up delicious flat irons). I also found some great latte mugs this summer and knew they'd be the perfect package for tea and honey. I purchased a peppermint pig from Sarasota Sweets (it's become a favorite holiday tradition!) a movie pass, bulk chewing gum and.........me. I've giving the gift of my peaceful, calm, joyful, supportive, full of gratitude, in the moment presence, which to me is the most important gift anyone of us can share with those around us. 

I've overridden my tendency to shop excessively, to buy gifts just because I am supposed to or I have to. Any gift I've given, large or small comes straight from my heart. I truly feel that we are a society that consumes and buys way more than what we ever need. We buy for the sake of buying and though I pass no judgement, I know it is not right for me. In the past, I've bought gifts because I felt that it was what I should do and sure, I did it from the goodness of my heart but I have to say that I noticed it completely distracted me from people that I love to be around. I was more worried about the mess being made than about the people who were making the mess :(  

I'm not saying that I am opposed to giving and receiving, it certainly goes both ways. I've been supported and blessed my many people throughout the year. I've been received wonderful gifts and these exceed monetary worth. The gifts I've given have hopefully done the same for others around me. What I most wish for this Christmas season is to focus on the things that truly matter, the people I love, those who bless our lives, lift us up, support us, make us feel feel warm and snuggly, help us know we are unconditionally loved and appreciated. Those really are the best gifts aren't they? No material object can really convey how it feels to HAVE THAT in our hearts!

Though I'm posting this just before Christmas and it's likely that most everyone already has their shopping done, save those last minute procrastinators (like I used to be!), perhaps this is an idea that can take hold and anchor itself in the year to come? My revised gifting plan is really a reflection of redesigning my life and listening very closely to that inner voice within me. I'll be writing about we can realign our inner vibrations to create a more supportive outward manifestation and thus begin creating our ideal experiences every day....AND during the holidays! 

Where is your heart focused on this Christmas? What are your favorite gifts to give and receive? Feel free to share in the comment box below.