Keep It Light Enough To Travel

Hi Friends,

I'm excited to announce that I'll be switching over to a new blog...It's something that will be more suited to my lifestyle, who I am, what I am about and hopefully, fingers crossed and big dreams manifested, something that I will be able to expand with, publish and LIVE.

If you've read my words for any length of time, you know that my feet don't stay in the same place for very long. In fact, during the last month, I've probably averaged about two nights in my cozy little house in Curtis. That's just enough time to do laundry, maintain the yard with the awesome help of my neighbor, Brady {many thanks, man, I owe you a few steaks!}

Travel is something that has always appealed to me; it feels my heart and soul. I deeply love to see the country, meet up with people, hang out, have fun and learn. I'm always in a state of learning and seeing things from an ever expanding view point.

I also know a few things about energetic themes, so while I enjoy being on the go, it is not always feasible for me to do so. During the school year, I am tied to a pretty consistent and sometimes intense routine. Summers open up, kids don't have to be in bed at a certain time. They do spend a lot of time going to rodeos with their Dad, so I don't see them nearly as much as I prefer. I am glad that they are able to do what they enjoy, it just leaves this Mama pretty lonesome at times.

I've spent the past several months really diving deep and reconnecting with myself. It's easy to disconnect, forget I am, what I am about and why I am here. I've been devoted to children and home for the past 15 years and for the most part, that's been my identity. It still is, but there have been some changes.

The person I lived with for 19 years is on a different path and that has created space, a whole lot of space to explore and rediscover myself. Like any completion and letting go of the past, it has had its ups and downs. Focusing on the downs is not a way to move forward so I've very much enlisted the support and assistance of wonderful friends. In essence, I've created a very strong "tribe" and I am extremely grateful for them, every single day. (There's always room for more!)

I've discovered that the concept of "home" is wherever I am at. My primary residence has been this backpack and my Subaru. I've spent more time in my car than I have anywhere else. My "home" has a lot of rooms; they are scattered all about. At any time of day, depending on the direction, I could call any number of friends and say, "Hey, mind if I crash at your place?!" I've not been turned down yet....and I think I very much embody a couch/chair surfer!

 I don't desire to live in a large, fancy house. Not because I couldn't handle the aspect of "wealth" but because it would be totally wasted space. I wouldn't likely be in it all that much. I've always thought of myself as needing a home, a place to call my own, a base. I'm finding that concept is not nearly as solid as I once believed. What I need is a (preferably) soft place to sleep (I bring my pillow and blanket) a little food (I don't eat much) water, coffee if it's available and something to write on (words pop into my brain all the time). I reply on phone, when I can't use my computer and the kindle holds a bunch of books that I would otherwise be toting around. I have two camping chairs in the back of my car and during the week there's a set of golf clubs that come along for short rides.

I have nice jewelry but I wear one ring, one necklace and the same earrings most all of the time. I have a small bag that I throw my little wallet, cell phone and sunglasses in and a backpack for my clothes. When I'm not flying, I indulge in a bag filled with my art supplies and journals. I have two pairs of shorts that I alternate between, a few skirts, t-shirts, a couple pairs of sandals and sneakers. It takes me less than five minutes to pack and be out the door.

My home is not bare, but there isn't a lot of clutter. The primary items are books and art supplies. It takes me an evening to clean, vacuum, and do surfaces. I still have more than enough "stuff" but the stuff doesn't require a lot of care. If I were to move in a month, I'd be able to box items up, quickly find new homes for them and be on my way.

It would be easy to look at what I've lost/released in the past year, but the truth is, I've actually gained in ways that I wasn't even aware of! Little did I know my theme song,  Keep It Light Enough To Travel would be prophetic in some aspects. That has become my motto, take only what I can fit in the Subaru and......have FUN!

I'll be posting from here Keep It Light Enough 2 Travel. Like my journeys, it'll likely be random, unplanned, creative, thoughtful and hopefully inspiring. I'm opening a new chapter and heading in a new direction in my life. I have no idea where I'll be going next, I've given the wheel over to my body/being, tuning in and listening (even when it doesn't make sense) because when I do that, it ALWAYS works out!

I'll be posting more often so please check back from time to time. I have a couple of fun ideas for those who want to follow along, some inquiry questions, offerings and opportunities. This feels like what I've been wanting to experience for a long time. Care to join me?!

Healing + Restoration

Hi Friends, 

I've taken a bit of a blogging break as life has demanded that I show up and participate. I've gone through an intense phase of letting go of some very tender pieces of my life. I'm in the process of rebooting and in doing so, much of the way I've participated and made sense of the world is also shifting. Solid ground is an evasive concept:

1. Everything is impermanent, no matter how badly we might           wish it to be otherwise.

2. Everything changes so.... avoid attachments.

These are not new ideas for me, it just seems that I am being called to re-learn them. When we participate in life, when we show up and play all out, it's quite a challenge to let go of intentions that we've focus on. We put our heart and soul "out there" in hopes that we will attain what we've invested so strongly within. When the goal falls short, we may feel that we have failed. 

This is probably one of the most difficult concepts for me. I go for what I want. I have  clear visions and plans. When that falls apart, I'm the first to admit, that I do too. It's not something I'm proud of but that's the truth. 

It's the picking-myself-up-off-the-floor and learning to move beyond the pain that sets in motion a new plan. It's not easy to keep going, especially when I've had my heart on something, but I'm finding that life has a way of supporting me, even when I don't ask. 

A friend may call, out of the blue, one of my kids gives me an unexpected hug or I get to watch a really beautiful sunset. I become more aware of the messages, signs and symbols that are all around me, reminding me that I haven't yet hit my stride, there's more. 

Then, I'm beckoned beyond my normal routine, following a message that I've had for a long time to just "be" to breathe and find water. I sit, for a really, really long time. I breathe in deeply and feel the beat of my heart. It's been through the ringer but it is still going. Here I have no agenda, no plans, no thoughts, no pain, no pleasure. Here is the art of present moment, where everything and nothing comes together, without competition, it just is. Here is where I need to be. Here is where I find myself. Here is where I heal and restore. Here is where I let go. Healing with water and wind. 

Turtle Traveling: BMOPHS

I’ve been on the road a great deal lately and it looks that that trend will continue for the remainder of the year. I’ve always enjoyed traveling, being in different locations, experiencing new energies, situations and people. People and places are so fascinating to me. I feel that my ideal career involves travel, of some sort. I am happiest when I am on the go. I appreciate having a space to come home to, but more and more, I'm finding I'm just as happy to BE, wherever I land. Perhaps that comes with feeling secure in my skin? Or maybe from recognizing that I really don't need many material objects to make me happy? It could be a combination of the realization of how I've limited myself by saying, "Oh, I can't do that right now, maybe someday." Well, my "someday" is approaching and I'm in full allowance of however that decides to show up. I'll be ready because I've been practicing. 

I’ve long been one to take the contents of “home” wherever I may roam. If I am not flying, a pillow and blanket are tucked in the car, right along with a few clothing changes. Packing for me happens in less than five minutes. I’m very clear and concise when it comes to clothing; everything I own is comfortable and interchangeable. I have a carpet bag and packing cubes at the ready. I throw in a few essentials like toothbrush, facial cleanser and mascara and I’m as good as gone.

My art bag, when not in use in the studio, is by the stairway, also ready for grab-n-go, even if it’s just across the street to the gazebo. My kindle and computer often join me, depending on the “assignment” of the journey. I had previously traveled very “light” focusing on not bring unnecessary extras. However, that wasn’t so comfy. I don’t need much mind you, but there’s something quite homey and soothing when I have my own utensils, cup and tea. Silly? Perhaps. A waste of time? Never! I’ve created and incorporated my own tea ritual. It doesn’t matter where I am or who I’m with; that former Dr. Pepper craving around 2ish has since been replaced by hot tea (and yes, this happens throughout the seasons, no matter if it is 90 or 10 degrees outdoors.) My current favorites are Jasmine Green Tea from Mountain Rose Herbs and Teavana's Matvana, Blueberry Bliss and Kona Pop, depending on my mood (and the mood I wish to create!) I’ve found that it doesn’t take that much to tuck in my tea mug, strainer and loose tea. Water is readily available. I prefer stovetop heating methods, though I’ve been known to pop a mason jar of water on a car hood to heat it up. When I travel, sometimes my tea ritual includes popping a green tea bag into my water bottle. I'm flexible like that. 

For lunch and supper on the go, I bring a latte mug, which also converts to a soup bowl. I pop a set of bamboo utensils and a reusable cloth into my purse and I have the makings of instant service for one. I either bring along some pre-made, portable snacks, the previous nights leftovers, or explore local groceries for easy, fast fixings for spontaneous, roadside picnics. I’ve found that I enjoy eating in new places, especially ones that don’t have long waits and standing room only options. The picture above was from a recent adventure, this was breakfast. I break all kinds of eating rules. Noodles are delicious in the morning. 

I’ve often joked about converting my Subaru into a mini-RV. All I’d need is to put the seats down, add a memory foam mattress and I’d be set. I may try that this summer. Life has become a delicious adventure for me. I kind of feel like I’d make a good turtle. While I don’t carry my home on my back, I certainly am finding ways to bring “home” with me. I am packing a few more things along than what I would need though no matter where I land, I would be as "snug as a bug in a rug" (pardon the pun, it was just really perfect here!)

While I'm still rooted pretty securely for the time being, I'm considering what it would take for me to have a portable, vagabond type lifestyle one day. I'll most likely want a little cottage to call home, a place to land and connect with my children and friends, though I am starting to wonder what that kind of life would be like? I've certainly heard the call........ and since I'm comparing myself to a turtle, there's no time limits....... I'll get there when I get there! So, I'll probably have a cup of tea and contemplate this for a bit longer. If you'd be interested in sponsoring the "Turtle Travels" please let me know. I think I make a pretty decent house guest. I BMOB, BMOP, BMOU, BMOPHS. Did you get that?!?! (I Bring My Own Blanket, Bring My Own Pillow, Bring My Own Utensils, Bring My Own Peace, Happiness and Sunshine!) 

What are the creature comforts you pack along? I'd love to hear about them in the comments below. 

How Hard Are You Working?

What kind of permission do you need to be who you are? Are you seeking attention, recognition, connection from others? How hard do you work to get what you need every day? What is your energy level like?

Many people are programmed to believe that hard work is the way to achieve goals. To get ahead in life you'd better be prepared to work you a*$ off. Is that your belief? Is there a desperation or hopelessness that exists because you feel stuck in some way? What if you could just let all that go. Too easy, right?

My friends, it's only as easy or hard as you choose to make it. Truth. We have a great gift in that we have choice. Choice is one of the most simple tools, that is available to us in every second, moment, hour, day, week, month, year. What do you choose? And here's the really cool thing, you can make a different choice at any time! If something isn't working for you, release the tendency to push or force, instead, ask what other possibilities exist that maybe your sweet little self hasn't thought of...yet. Instead of banging your head against a wall, and wondering why the wall doesn't crumble in, chose to do, be, have or experience something else. Does that sound utterly ridiculous or simplistic? It is: it is ridiculous because we aren't doing this more and it is simple. Why would have it be hard?!

Look at what is working for you. It probably feels "light" and right. (Ask you body, it has information for you as well). Look at what isn't working. This will most likely feel heavy, dense, stagnant and stuck. What choice could you make today that would allow the possibility of something different to show up? And here's the really cool part, you don't have to do much past that. Just be the space for that choice to come through. Sit back, watch, maybe have a cup of tea (or your choice of beverage, and watch what happens.

I've always thought I had to come up with the answers. SO NOT TRUE. I don't have to come up with any answers, my job is to simply ask the right questions and then, get the hell out of the way (taking my brain, limitations and judgements with me!) I've had several experiences this week where I thought something was going to happen and then it didn't Instead of being disappointed (which shuts off all possibilities) I asked to see this situation as one of possibility and potential. Knowing full well that I am not in control of situations or circumstances or even other people's choices, events, and schedules helped me remember that and in any moment, I can choose to STOP fighting my head, ask "What different choice is available that I don't even know about? What am I not seeing in this situation, that I could choose to see, that would bring about an entirely different experience through?" An answer didn't appear, but here's the deal, it didn't have to. I knew it would arrive when my attention caught up with my awareness. So I went to bed.

I awakened this morning to a myriad of choices and gratitude for not keeping myself in limitation. As I was making coffee, several possibilities "popped in". It made me grateful that I remembered that I have the option to ask a question, in any situation. I previously would have felt stuck and constricted, which completely limited my choices and options. I realize now that the "stuck feeling" is a byproduct of my brain working to either figure out a solution or fighting against what "is" or feeling constricted by outside, unexpected changes and circumstances; all of which just make WORK, a lot more work for me that what is necessary and required. I could reel, spin, twist, churn, box, scream, cry, fight, or chose something else, which would relieve me from having to figure it out and that would be easy. That, my friends, is the choice I made. I released any pressure, expectations, judgements and/or limitations and just let the answer find me. How easy and freeing is that?!

I've worked so hard in the past to come up with solutions and fix things. And that was virtually impossible because I was limiting other options by relying on former reference points! There's something very liberating when we can let go of our control and self-imposed limitations and not have to come up with an immediate answer. In fact, I'm finding that it's really not a talent of mine because much of what I "think" is often misaligned. By asking  questions, being "space" for the possibilities to formulate and by-passing the need to figure things out, expansion happens effortlessly and so does relaxation.

Today isn't at all what I expected it to be, it's even better. Living life from "here" means that I don't have to know what is going on, what's going to happen, how it's going to happen, when it might happen, who it might happen with, where we'll be.......  I can just enjoy the moment, fully and completely. All of my focus, attention and awareness is showered upon the present moment and the beautiful people that choose to show up in it. I really dig not having to work so hard!

Keys to Freedom: What Have You Been Locking Down?

What would it take for you to have total freedom in your life? And by the way this isn't a question to be answered with your head, in fact, you already know the answer......... you already are the answer......

"Freedom" is a concept we tend to put outside of ourselves and then we begin to "chase after it". We can become the eternal seekers, finding openings and tastes, here and there, but never really landing the "big catch" because.....if we did.....what would then happen? YIKES. LOCKDOWN. 

Many of us have become so entrained by our reality, circumstances, situations, relationships, career that we've forgotten the plethora of other possibilities that exist, we live in "lockdown" mode. We're shackled by our points of views, conclusions, judgements, should's, have's, need to's, ought to's.....and that's just the way it is. Does it have to be? Who's point of view have you taken on and made as your own? (Again, just ask the question, you don't have to look for/come up with an answer). 

The really interesting thing is that we already have the KEYS. We have the ability to unlock anything we've created and set up. No one on the outside of us has what we are all searching for. 

This month will be an especially interesting one to observe how lockdown happens. In the Nine Star Ki tradition, the guiding element is metal. Metal is related to our mental faculties, ability to process, analyze, and evaluate information. Our minds are extremely powerful tools and the ability held within them, greatly untapped. The mind is a masterful concept and one that requires respect and observation. We can talk ourselves into and out of anything. If we believe all the BS that our minds tell us, the view we take of our reality can become mighty skewed......but it won't look that way and it might not even feel that way, if we choose to believe our thoughts. 

There's not a way to "master" or control the mind. It simply is a tool that can be aligned with. It takes practice and patience. I need my mind for certain tasks but I've found lately it sometimes just needs something to do. It easily conjures up images of fear, worry, sadness, rejection and any other "stories" that will generate feelings and responses. It gets bored so this is often my "go to" way of creating drama because somewhere I got the idea that I needed to be in worry mode. When I'm in worry mode, my senses are awake and I feel alive. 

It's taken a LONG time to realize and catch myself in the act, so one of the KEYS for unlocking that space has been to treat my mind like a helper. When I notice that I'm going into that place of "I wonder what so and so is doing right now? Or I wonder if I'll hear from.......? Did I do something wrong here?......." I stop my mind and ask if it would be willing to solve a different problem, something like, "What would it take for you to go balance my checkbook? Or Maybe you'd like to go design a website?" And I send it packing........

Does that sound a little weird, a little strange? I'm ok to sound that way. For those who deal with "monkey mind" please just see if that resonates. If it does, check it out and play with it a bit. Adjust, expand, edit and see what would work for you.

My "happy place" includes infinite space where my mind is not engaged and running all the time. This often opens when I'm engaged in experiences that I really enjoy. I have a practice that I do before I go to sleep to "soften" my mind and on the nights I don't do it, I 'm usually awake at 4 am. 

I share this because there is a propensity within this type of month where the mind can really wreak havoc on the body/being. Of course your body/being is designed to handle anything, though your overall state may feel agitated, frustrated, uptight, tense and unable to fully relax.

 Here are a couple of KEYS to unlock those locked down states:

*Breathe---most simple and effective way of expanding awareness and coming back to center. This month's edition of Taproot Magazine has an excellent article, The Medicine of Breath. Taproot Magazine  

*Move/Walk--one of the easiest ways to get out of your head and into present moment (and it's free, mobile, you don't need a membership, you set the time limit!) 

*Commune with your Body--Sounds simple, and yet, oh so many people forget to talk to and ask their body what IT would like. Our bodies are what experience what we "do", the vehicles to get us where we want to go. What your body says, may be very different from what your mind needs/wants/already knows. Listen and see.

*Question--I've been working with and asking a lot of questions recently. Instead of trying to figure it out, asking a question creates a space where more possibilities can be presented. A number of solutions and new ways of seeing old situations have come in since I've started doing this. It's really freeing in that I don't have to have an answer, I ask, open and then let it go. The ideas start flowing in. It's definitely offered expansion in the way that I can see situations from many different perspectives and opportunities. In the past, I've gotten pretty locked into how I wanted things to be, how I wanted situations and relationships to turn out and when those didn't happen, I went into DEEP lockdown states of depression, sadness, loss, rejection, retreat. 

I've experienced all of those emotions/feelings/reactions because I forgot to expand and ask, what else would be possible?  This may be the most important KEY, on you'll want to start using. Just ask "What else is possible here?" That's it. Your job is done. Relax. Go play. Find something for your mind to....and when you least expect BOOM! Not one or two but many avenues will appear. (How awesome is that?!?!)

We will all have the invitations to work with, experience, play and stretch our minds this month, due to the influence of the metal element. Metal makes for excellent energies to organize and work with financial aspects, so this will be a supportive time to do taxes and book work. That said, it can also feel tight and constricting so make sure to give yourself plenty of space. Perhaps working in shorter increments and less "marathon" thinking?! Segment large projects into smaller tasks and take note of day to day progress. Avoid force or pushing. 

Work when you feel energized, and do what you can to alleviate pressure and deadlines. Ask for support and assistance when needed. Reward yourself by taking a walk/hike outside. Spending equal or great time involved in fulfilling activities/experiences. Notice the tendency to be in "work mode" and if it isn't conducive to other activities, be sure to communicate with your mind that you'd really like to relax! Minds will be activated and engaged this month and that can lead to a lot of intensity and pressure. Diffuse by tuning in and listening to what your body also needs. The mind has a tendency to forget it's attached to the rest of you!

So, hopefully you can take a few of these KEYS (or make your own!) and see what kind of fun, new ways of being in the world you can unlock? What kind of fun are you willing to be for yourself? What kind of fun would you be willing to have with your mind? What happens when you switch from being locked down to unlocked and unleashed?! I'll be interested to hear about your adventures if you choose to comment below. 

Who You Are

Who you are is an amazing gift to the world. Thank you. 

However you choose to show up in the world, I accept you. Thank you.

All the judgements of the past, present and future I've destroyed and uncreated. You are free. I am free. Thank you. 

Thank you for being you. Thank you for being the light you are in my life. Thank you for showing me examples of brilliance, joy, peace, laughter, unconditional love, allowance and friendship. 

This is the greatest work you've ever done. YOU ARE A STAR! 

Now.......go live your life, wherever you are called to be, whomever you are invited to be with, especially if this is just an intimate time with your own amazing being. 

This is your invitation.....your permission, to be exactly who you are. Show up. Live your life. Shine. You've "got this". You've always had it. No situation, no person can ever take this way. 

Feel free to copy and distribute these words, to everyone you know. Read them every day. Add to them. Paint them on your bathroom walls, stencil them on your curtains. Write them on your kitchen table, breathe them in. Live them. BE them. 

Love notes

Sometimes when I'm having a bad day and I'm more inclined to be grumpy than happy and optimistic, I find reminders, like this one. Out of the blue, planted her by sweet little fingers and delightful heart. I find little notes like this often, though I never know when or where they will pop up. They ALWAYS make my smile. And yes, I save them. Every. Single. One.

I found this a couple of months ago. I look at it every day. It reminds me that I am loved, and to me that is one of the most powerful feelings in the Universe. I am loved. I am loved. I am loved. {I'm just letting that soak in!}

It's a great thing to know that someone loves you, it's just as wonderful to be able to say that "I love myself". That's not conceited, narcissistic or vain. It's vital to living an authentic life. 

I've been lambasted for who I am, how I am and even what I believe. I am deeply sensitive and emotional. I feel, perceive and intuit easily. At times, this has felt like a curse, but I know now, that it is not. I do cry at the drop of a hat, when I am pissed off or I feel that emotions so deeply that this is the fastest "outlet of release". I cry for the pain of others, but I also cry when I see other people succeed. Truth: I've tried to suppress my emotions because it tends to make other people so damned uncomfortable.......and I can't do that anymore. It's not who I am.

You see, I have a heart, I have a huge, amazing HEART. It not only does it's job with the blood and oxygen, it delivers LOVE, in all forms, straight through my veins. I've thought that if I were to only operate with my mind, things would be a lot easier. But I'd miss the experience of how notes like this one make me feel. I'd miss the joy and laughter of my kids and how it feels when one of them grabs me and hugs me, especially when I didn't ask for one of them to. I'd miss that feeling of deep gratitude I have when I connect with friends who love, support and accept me, unconditionally. I'd miss the sweeping emotions of relief when I completed a difficult goal. Everyday, I'm seeing my sensitivity as a gift. 

I've spent a lot of years suppressing my heart, trying to keep it confined, because let's face it, when emotions begin to bubble and boil, not everyone knows how to handle it (including me, at times). That kind of LOVE is scary, wild and out of control. We fear giving our hearts away to others because..... who knows if we'll ever get them back? 

We shouldn't worry though. What we give away not only comes back, it multiplies. The heart is a muscle and the more we use it, the stronger it gets. The more cardio we put it through, the faster it beats. The same holds true for love and gratitude: the more we love, the more expanded our experiences of love becomes. 

For a long time, I've pushed love away; not just the love of other people, but love for myself too. I've compared myself to others. I've tried to be stronger and tougher, less sensitive, less emotional, less vulnerable. What I realize is that spending time trying to make everything that is ME go away is......exhausting. I've given my heart permission to feel however it needs and wants to feel and so what's here is a wide open, expansive freedom. I'm not here to judge, control or fix anyone (myself included). As one of my favorite authors, Dr. Dain Heer shares, "You can't have gratitude and judgement at the same time. You can either be grateful or have judgement: they don't co-exist. Which would you choose?" Gratitude is what I choose, ALL THE WAY BABY!

So here I am, raising the white flag. I give. I get it. I have a heart. I'm going to cry. I'm going to feel emotions so deeply, they cut me like a knife. Rejection sucks and it will most likely bring me to my knees, but it won't kill me. Finding out some situations just aren't going to work to will make my heart feel like it is being torn into bits and yet, every aspect of destruction lends itself to a new creation. The heart regenerates itself. Love repairs. Blood keeps pumping. Oxygen keeps circulating. Love repairs..........

So I have to wonder....... if I can feel this much pain, then my heart certainly has the capacity to feel even greater joy? And what happens if I just open my heart a little more every day? What experiences are ready to show up when I'm willing to live from this place, letting my heart, not my mind lead me? I have a feeling, it's going to be different, in an amazing ways. I'm ready to find out. Care to join me? 

Pay It Forward

Yesterday was a bit of a challenge and I am learning to see challenges as opportunities. Such opportunities can show us how far we are on our path, or where we have yet to clear, cleanse and bring to a higher vibrations. 

For the majority of the past month, I've pared down my focus to a couple of areas of my life that I've closed off for years. These aren't visible to anyone and yet they are tangible. In fact, I was completely unaware at how I pushed away receiving. I've been consciously practicing being open to receiving fantastic gifts from the Universe.  

Beliefs can become engrained within us very easily; over time they can be reinforced with what we believe we experience. Outside circumstances seem to solidify them even further confirming their validity. 

However, like water, beliefs take the form of whatever container they fill up....to change one's reality, one can change his/her belief. That's where my focus has been, changing the way I believe and how I react to outside circumstances. 

Yesterday was not an easy day, there were multiple invitations to jump into the old beliefs and reactions. I found out a couple of things that really rocked me and I was steps away from falling into the blame, misery, victimhood perceptions, that I had become so accustomed to. And then I took a deep breath......and I shifted......and I realized that I am always supported, loved and cared for. I have everything I need, right here, right now. I looked directly at my fear, thanked it for being there. I already knew the lesson and I accepted it. I cannot change people. I can change my reaction to them and I how view them. I can see them as teachers, bless them and move on. That's what I did. I thanked these persons for what they offered me, cut the cord to the density, filled up on "light" and affirmed that ONLY high vibrating people, ideas, and experiences are allowed into my field. 

I treat my "spaces," my home and my body as sacred. I've worked very hard to pare down my physical objects and likewise, I've pared down emotional debris and baggage as well as limiting beliefs. The "major" of the overhaul is complete, though like my home, I am still very attuned to what shows up. Clutter, I am convinced, multiplies as fast as baby rabbits. So too old beliefs will keep flowing to the top to be skimmed off. And the more vigilant I become about keeping my inner and outer spaces, clear of debris the more expanded my space becomes. It's a daily thing with me, home and body. If I notice a stray or lower vibrating emotion, I work with it, get right to the core of it and clear it out. If it's physical clutter I do the same. I handle ever piece of mail, every dish and every object in my home with reverence. If it doesn't need to be here, I bless it and move it out. I've pared down a lot and though I still have more to go, I've gained back tremendous territory. I can sense new, creative space arising as a result! I am rewarded with expansion, openness, awareness and a whole lot of love and appreciation. What a GREAT experience, what an EXCELLENT way to live! 

I have come to believe that clutter (inside and out) is a result of a  emotional debris that has built up. It takes great courage to clear it out. It takes determination and bravery to be face ALL that we've accumulated and are now housing. It takes great strength to accept responsibility for it and even greater strength to initiate change. 

Right about the time that you think you are done, you can't take one more step, the Universe steps in............ and the person in front of you at Starbucks pays for your venti latte. And then you realize, all that hard work, all those decisions to choose the higher vibrating thoughts and beliefs have created a new opening. Here's your confirmation that you are loved, supported, blessed and cared for.

I don't know who this person was, but her/his kindness and generosity was the perfect confirmation.

I wrote this post because I want to "pay it forward". If you felt like your burden was too much, that it was too hard to shift gears, let go of old habits, beliefs and ways of being in the world, let me remind you that there are better things waiting for you. 

Roll up your sleeves, do the work. Have a good cry, throw yourself down on your bed and let your eyes empty out the emotions that have been buried, suppressed and hidden for whatever reason. 

Claim your truth and who you really are, no matter what that means for you. Go to your core and connect with the light of your soul. Resonate there and feel the freedom that you were always meant to feel. Constriction and any lower emotion is there, like clutter; it may have served a purpose at one time but if it feels heavy, it's likely time to let it go. 

When we take care of our inner and outer spaces, clearing out what no longer serves and supports us, we make room for ALL that does. We create a wider, magnetic pathway for the good that we want to experience. And when we are full up with that.... the good overflows and and radiates out in all directions. That's when we are "guided" to buy lattes, or treat someone to lunch, write a letters, make a phone calls, paint a picture, spend time with a friend, sing a song, and give our time, talents and joy to others because we want to, it just feels great!

I think we all do these things anyway, without expectations. But let me just say, that I adore the many surprises that have been flowing into my life since consciously opening and allowing the Universe to share, on even greater levels. I am always happy to give and I am now learning to receive with equal enthusiasm. 

What is your favorite way to pay it forward? What unexpected "gifts" do you love to share? Do you keep a gratitude journal? What delightful, unexpected surprises have you received? 

Swoot Tags!

I adore making tags. This is a quick way to feed my creative expression and experience completion, which feels good. Not all of my projects are so easily wrapped up so I celebrate when I find one that can be. I still make a grand mess, but clean-up is minimal. 

Pryce and I had discussed our ideas for Valentine's Day. She very much prefers commercial Valentine's, {she's into the holographic animals} and I very much prefer homemade. She was not interested at all in tag making but she's been right in the thick of the on-line mixed media class, A Year Of Painting {and WOW, can the girl make an awesome mess creation}!

I think these tags are super cute and anyone that gets a gift from me has probably figured out that I'd rather make tags than buy cards. I also love that the possibilities are endless when you combine washi tape, stamps, colored inks and pencils. They take up very little room, can be popped in a glassine envelop with a little tea bag or treat, and later they can be reused as a groovy bookmarks. 

The tea-dyed tags that I made awhile ago are still my favorite. I didn't flatten/iron them out so they are wabi sabi wrinkled, which I think is an endearing quality. 

Like Christmas, I'm a bit old-fashioned when it comes to Valentine's Day. I prefer the heartfelt and homemade to commercial: love notes and hand written poems instead of boughten cards, books instead of candy, and big a$$ diamonds! Ha! I just had to throw that in there.

What is your favorite way to "spread the love"? Please share in the comment section below!

Bringing in the New!

I'm super excited to share this post! For the first time ever, I've recorded myself, loaded the video to vimeo and youtube and now I'm sharing it on this blog. This is giant step for me: 1. I'm "putting myself 'out there'" 2. Exploring details in the world of videos, links, and technology 3. Facing fear, moving through it and releasing limited beliefs 4. Ready to share some insights and information that comes through so easily, that it's become a second language to me!

I've created a youtube channel, you'll find it here: Robyn's Youtube channel

I've created a nine star ki blog and I am considering posting insight and information here. I'd love your feedback. Would it be easier to have one website that lists everything or a separate one for ki information? I'm pondering that one and I'd love your thoughts on this. I'm open to the idea of  building a website or attracting a gifted website designer that would like to co-create work with me! 

I'll be taking some time this winter and into early Spring to create on-line classes, workshops and videos so please, please, share this information with those who you think would resonate with the ideas. I know we are all very busy and there's SO much information available. I believe that nine star ki offers us unique insights that can be valuable in grounding, aligning and really understanding themes that we are working with. I also feel that by following it we do become more aware of our beautiful world, the natural elements and the energies that are always present. 

I'm absolutely delighted to be sharing with you! Thanks for taking the time check out the blog. 

~RJ

Reminder from the Universe

One of the practices I've been doing on a daily basis is tuning in and aligning with Source and Soul. I've asked for signs to know I'm on the right path. Just reminders, head nods, and various confirmations, here and there. 

Then sometimes I forget to ask. I don't take the time to ground my energies or really "connect" and tune in. And then, that's when the Universe, smiles, winks and places one of these in my drink. 

"I am beautiful. I am bountiful. I am blissful."  YES, YOU ARE! Just thought I'd pass along that little reminder.......on behalf of the Universe.

Another Start?

2014~4 Tree Year

How are those resolution-less days of January working with you? For any of you who feel like the boat left the harbor and you missed it, I have excellent news; we all get a second chance!

Though my life revolves around the Gregorian calendar (and my schedule is certainly reflecting busy days and nights at the moment) my heart and soul follow the Nine Star Ki path, throughout the month and seasons of the year. Around the 4th of February we will switch to a brand new energetic year {and let me just say how READY I am!}

Collectively we've just completed a year in the 5 earth cycle. This means that we've all been working with the energies of the karmic stations, themes that we inherited at the time of our birth. Nine Star Ki uses five natural elements found in nature as a way of organizing and making sense of energies, life themes, challenges, and triumphs. By carefully studying patterns, rhythms, traits and tendencies of tree, water, earth, metal and fire, we are given deep insight about the way our world works. Since we are so entwined within the natural world, the entire philosophy is based on our surroundings and these elements. Even if we do not take the time to identify and recognize them, they are always at play, in one form or another, during each day, month and year.

This week and next are great times for assessing and evaluating where you are in terms of your life path, intentions and goals. We've all been working in themes an structures closest to us, identifying any glitches and working to straighten them out so that we are free to move into higher vibrational experiences, ones more fitting of who we are and why we are here. If you've struggled in one or more areas of your life, it's likely not been the disaster your mind would have you believe; instead it could be an intricate part of the lessons/experiences your spirit/soul have signed up for during your time here. The good news is that the coming year will likely be far different from what you've experienced during 2013.

In this philosophy, 2014 is a 4 tree year. This type of energy fosters education, growth/expansion, exploration and connections. It supports great strides in learning and forward movement. The symbol for this location is a a healthy, mature tree, one that is fully rooted, yet flexible enough to bend when necessary. We can adopt more of the tree energies by honoring our own unique gifts and talents and sharing those with others. This type of energy is flexible and is known to shift and change directions.  Those who are born in 1942, '51, '60, '69, '78, '87, '96 and 2005 are likely to experience energies shifts and changes more intensely than others. (Don't worry, every one gets their turn what is known as the center station!)

As a collective, we'll all feel the pull to learn, expand and grow. Travel is usually a popular theme in a four tree year we'll be more inclined to explore and we are open to new experiences. Accidents can be more prominent as well, especially if we lack ample earth/soil energies to keep us grounded and focused. Four tree carries is a much "softer" essence than the solid five earth that we're completing. If you've noticed an abundance of constriction and feelings of being blocked and held in place, it could very well be related to the five earth energies. They are known to feel stronger just before the energetic shift happens.

I share this for those who are interested gaining insight and perspective. We're close to completing the first month of the new calendar year and we have a brilliant opportunity to recognize and harness the power of an additional "fresh start".  I'm particularly fond of taking time to journal, map or create some type of art piece that allows me to recognize and lovingly release anything that no longer serves us. This creates space and  consciously opens us to new, bright, exciting possibilities that will grow and branch out through the coming year.

Four tree is a bit fast paced, so there will be times of rapid acceleration; things that would have taken a long time to launch, complete/accomplish in years past will happen quickly. Use the time in the next couple of weeks to get your game plan organized so that when the upward rising, ascending energies of four tree open, you'll be ready to "grow"!

Awakening

I'm not a morning person. I'm sure there was a time when I used to get out of bed at the crack of dawn and love it, but it's so far back in my story, that I have not a shard of that memory. I've tried many different programs and techniques to help motivated me. I've come to the conclusion that I HAVE to want to get out of bed and whatever I am getting out of bed for had better be WORTH IT. There's a few things that are worthy of me rising early but I won't mention those, on this blog, right now. For example, meeting Russell Crowe in person would be a good start. Since that hasn't happened, the likelihood of me naturally, blissfully bounding out of my nice warm nest is not on the radar either.

Getting out of bed is lame. It's something that has to be done and most of the time, for me, just one more necessity. It sucks. Awakening is...........different. Awakening happens in the precious, pregnant moments before full consciousness is birthed. It's the realization a shift is about to take place, something big and brilliant has illuminated your space. Something you can't quite grasp yet, but you know you've already signed up and you have agreed to go along for the ride....perhaps you'll even take the wheel? In those seconds, much transpires. The entire day is captured and anchored in a few microscopic breaths, in and out. The choice is made, either through your mind, ego, will, heart and/or soul. How you'll respond to the day depends on how you choose to react. And though you may not even realize how to expand time, the potential, albeit it short if you are a clock watcher, is fertile with potential.

I've nailed gotten through the Artist's Way morning pages since last week. This isn't exactly a triumph, (yet) because I've not always completed them in the morning; I've made a hell of an attempt though and this is the FIRST TIME I'VE EVER STUCK TO THEM FOR LONGER THAN A DAY! I do want to recognize and honor that something is definitely AWAKENING within my being.  I have so many ideas to share, my creative vibes are very strong and yet, I'm not feeling like I have the freedom of schedule to open up and let them flow.

It would be easy, after the day I've had to not even take the time to post. Here I am though, showing up to that which is ready to be written through me. I would love to devote my day to artistic endeavors and creative activities and right now.......the linear world is really showing up and challenging that. I've always focused on work, doing what I need to do and what has to be done before I play. I'm aware of the therapeutic benefits of time to play, paint, write, draw and I'm also aware that oil changes, grocery shopping, homework, laundry, dishes and meal preps do not get done by *magic* I'm showing up for all that AND opening to the possibility of manifesting larger dreams. In AWAKENING, all possibilities exist.

 I don't believe in balance anymore, if I did the scales would have toppled a long time ago. Someone asked me recently how I "balance all that I do". And this is close to what I shared: I don't balance. I take time throughout the day to connect with my soul. I find things that feed my mind/body/spirit. I strive for something healthy but I'm not above treating myself to white chocolate/coconut. I tend to the most important, relevant details that have to be taken care of and try to do something artistic to anchor my vision daily. In months like the one I am working with now, where I'm doing a lot of running and organizing I remind myself than when things get caught up (also an illusion) when space expands and I find myself with more *time,* then I start doing the things that I said I would do when I wished I had time to do and....... I DO them. Right now, sleep feels like a luxury and the idea of reading something just for pleasure seems as far away as the planet Mars. I have a number of deadlines and obligations and things that do that have to be done. What's different is that I am now taking time in the morning to create space, to open and truly AWAKEN. Since I'm not a jump-outta-bed-hit-the-floor-kinda-girl, I'm easing into whatever chapters are next in my life's book. Many chapters have been completed. I'm aware that new ones are forming. In the meantime, I'll be hanging out with the morning pages and getting a lot more used to what 5:30 looks and feels like. No expectations but definitely coffee. And My Head is An Animal Album. Over and over. 

If you've read the previous post you'll see my my guiding word this year is SHINE. Just a few baby steps within the year, it's already proven to be a beacon.

Today was a bit rough in places. I felt the urge to move out some excess, intense, heavy, dense energies and so I power walked. It was blistering cold air but something strong was drawing me out of my cozy little cottage and into nature. When I trudged up the big hill, questioning my decision and praying my eyeballs weren't going to turn into frozen marbles, I realized what I'd been missing today *the sunSHINE*. It was warm, golden, and delicious. I let the skin of my face drink it in. I asked my body to absorb it through the layers of clothes that I'd piled on. I opened my heart wide and let the rays melt what ailed me. 

I returned home with inspiration and ideas galore. And before they disappeared into the ethers of my creative waves and I wanted to invite your input. One of my gifts is teaching. I love to share and inspire others. I feel this is often when my light shines most brilliantly. I would love to know what you are into and what you might enjoy learning through me?

 I have selected not to teach at MPCC this semester. I feel very called to teach though, to cheer, to encourage to connect, to bring insight and awareness, to offer experiences that help you uncover, discover and recover your amazing talents and gifts.

I'm in the creation and design process of considering what I can offer and really, the best way to do this is to ask for your ideas. What are you "into" right now? What do you feel called to learn and excited to explore? I am looking into on-line as well as in-person experiences for those of you who would like me as a "tour guide." I don't necessarily consider myself an expert because I  love to explore, right along beside my students. Right now smaller groups and individuals feel appropriate. I have space so I can host a night class or a weekend PLAYshop {because, really, who wants to work?!?} I'm also willing to travel, so for my sweet, far and away friends....let's chat! 

Please share your suggestions in the comment section or on Facebook. If you are new to the blog and would like to follow along, the Facebook link is https://www.facebook.com/robynjohnston. I am very interested in hearing your responses. This will serve as a worthy guide and a channel for my creative energies (that seem to be in overdrive right about now.) 

What's the good {guiding} word?

What is your greatest vision for yourself? How would it look at feel to bring this image to life? One glance around my space and its evident that my favorite books are not novels, they relate either to art, creativity or self-improvement.

I've read everything I can get my hands on. My kindle is full and my amazon cloud is bursting. It's very clear that it is time to put those skills and suggestions to use. And really in doing so, I need to gift those books and just start tuning in to my own soul's wisdom. That's where my truth and guidance is stored. Taking myself to the next level includes action. I confess, I've avoided it. It turns out when one puts an intention "out there" there are a good number of unknown variables that also exist. There's no way to know how anything will turn out either, I believe that is what is called LIFE!

One of the tools that I use is the Ki energy system. It's a beautiful, helpful way of seeing themes and making sense of what is going on in our lives during any given month and year. This year my themes are birth/planning/details/nurturing/connections and travel/learning/expansion,vitality. Knowing the themes I've just completed, these are a breath of fresh air! Although the two station isn't one that I love, it is one that will slow me down enough to look at details, organize, plan and design. This isn't necessarily my year to take huge leaps, but it is coming. I can feel it!

So now that I've "called myself out publicly" to raise my own personal bar, I'll also share my guiding word this year: SHINE. There's a lot behind that one word. Shine, for me, means allowing the inner goodness to effortlessly radiate out. I've been through one of the roughest years of my life and I like to think that the "pressure" is shaping/forming my inner diamond. Shine means that I can be perfectly still and that my guiding light is still visible and tangible to myself. It can also serve as a beacon to others who need a little boost, a true friend an authentic "light". Shine feels light, vibrant, rich, full, whole and complete.

 The challenge of this word is that comes with vulnerability and that's a tough one for me. I have a hard time when I know I am being judged and to put myself "out there" could invite this. Those little trickles of fear arise when I realize I may be seen, noticed, heard, watched to a greater degree. I think we are all here to do great things and that means becoming visible, sharing my work, words, insight, suggestions, support, inspiration and guidance with others. I tend to work best behind the scenes. I'd rather be the one doing the work and not the one taking credit for it. I've been criticized and falsely judged one too many times. But I won't know how brightly I can SHINE, if I'm not willing to take those risks. So I will. I will step out of my little safe cocoon and right up to the plate. I have no idea how this will all take shape, how I'll emerge by this time next year. We are all guaranteed change and forward movement so.......let the games begin.

I have a few ideas of what my talents are and in the general direction of how I can apply them but the results.........well, your guess is as good as mine. I think we'll both be surprised. I go forward with a deep trust and authentic curiosity about what the coming year. For the first time (in maybe forever) I have no expectations and no notions of the outcome.

The first steps toward my guiding words look like this:

I finally set up an official creative space! I'm very excited to have all of my materials in one spot. It feels really GOOD too. I have a number of projects already lining up and asking to be "birthed" in this space. I love that this room is upstairs and it is filled with light! It's like connecting with my higher self every time I walk up those stairs. 

This is my second baby step. I'm taking an on-line painting/mixed media class. We were encouraged to share our work. To this I cringed. I gathered my favorite colors, which happen to be dark and rich. I selected key pieces which are too tiny to show up in the picture, but I know they are there. I watched the video over and over, compared mine and about pitched it. It looked awful and not at all what I had in mind (not really sure what I had in mind, but this wasn't it!) I called it good and walked away.

After my massive clean/reorganize project I revisited this piece and was guided to add details with the white paint pen. I must say this was a BLAST. I know nothing about color, contrast, texture, etc. Everything that I do is completely intuitive. I was happy with how this turned out. I think I may make my living room a gallery...............

So, baby steps to letting my inner and outer light shine. Thank you for reading, thank you for sharing. I wish you the brightest, most beautiful journey this year. If you've selected a guiding word, may it bless you, strengthen you and encourage your truest self to emerge.