Hi Friends,
I've taken a bit of a blogging break as life has demanded that I show up and participate. I've gone through an intense phase of letting go of some very tender pieces of my life. I'm in the process of rebooting and in doing so, much of the way I've participated and made sense of the world is also shifting. Solid ground is an evasive concept:
1. Everything is impermanent, no matter how badly we might wish it to be otherwise.
2. Everything changes so.... avoid attachments.
These are not new ideas for me, it just seems that I am being called to re-learn them. When we participate in life, when we show up and play all out, it's quite a challenge to let go of intentions that we've focus on. We put our heart and soul "out there" in hopes that we will attain what we've invested so strongly within. When the goal falls short, we may feel that we have failed.
This is probably one of the most difficult concepts for me. I go for what I want. I have clear visions and plans. When that falls apart, I'm the first to admit, that I do too. It's not something I'm proud of but that's the truth.
It's the picking-myself-up-off-the-floor and learning to move beyond the pain that sets in motion a new plan. It's not easy to keep going, especially when I've had my heart on something, but I'm finding that life has a way of supporting me, even when I don't ask.
A friend may call, out of the blue, one of my kids gives me an unexpected hug or I get to watch a really beautiful sunset. I become more aware of the messages, signs and symbols that are all around me, reminding me that I haven't yet hit my stride, there's more.
Then, I'm beckoned beyond my normal routine, following a message that I've had for a long time to just "be" to breathe and find water. I sit, for a really, really long time. I breathe in deeply and feel the beat of my heart. It's been through the ringer but it is still going. Here I have no agenda, no plans, no thoughts, no pain, no pleasure. Here is the art of present moment, where everything and nothing comes together, without competition, it just is. Here is where I need to be. Here is where I find myself. Here is where I heal and restore. Here is where I let go. Healing with water and wind.
